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In our recent discussions of selfhood, Archangel, we have talked of the stubborn, often unacknowledged intuitions of the voidness of thing, and of the verification of these by modern science.
Quite so, my daring. Go on.
We also have spoken of the intuited paradox the void and form are one and the essence of ultimate reality, a singular, transcendent self. But you and I recognize a specific nature in this singularity.
Wisdom, strength, and compassion. Correct, my precious and you want to know what affirms such a claim.
That’s it, Guardian, that’s my point.
An interesting one as always, child. Observe, for example, that all religions do in fact affirm these trait, mostly in terms of channeling human behavior toward virtue. But the characteristics we identify are inherent qualities, not behavioral strictures. We do not insist upon being wise, strong, and compassionate. We note that all thing have these qualities by nature.
“Insentient beings speak dharma!”
Exactly, my dear one, the “mountains and the rivers” tell us of transcendent reality, all we need to know, and in the lightning flash of that revelation we see our own one-self made one.
My favorite quatrain from Khayyam! May I?
Let me hear!
“And when thyself with shining foot shall pass/ Amid the guests star-scattered on the grass/ And reaching the spot where I made one/ Turn down an empty glass!”
Child, I may tell you, mine will be the last hand you release when you are “made one.”
Allow me to elaborate on our last discussion, my darling, concerning the attachments we form in the sangsara, as these being temporal surely are the bitter gall of the human condition.
Please continue, Archangel.
The root question is who really is attached to whom? The stubborn delusion in this matter is our blindness to the transience of selfhood, which is not static but the ever changing essence of void, and not temporal but timeless.
So there is no discreet "you" or "I" that we imagine clinging to one another.
Exactly, all are one singular transcendent self, but your description reveals precisely why the delusion about self is stubborn. Think, my darling.
Ah! Imagining we are separate and individual, we are plunged into loneliness. We trap ourselves in this inexorable grief.
Thank you, my clever disciple. Yes you have individuality, but you are not separate. Indeed you are inseparable from the one ultimate reality, and its nature is what you identify in your consciousness as your very own self. Remember what Buddha said.
"We have no self nature of our own." I begin to see dimly what you are driving at, Guardian.
Not so dimly, my precious. Just bear in mind always that reality is paradoxical. Your reflex, impelled by the symmetry of your configuration, is to see only duality. Thus here is form, and over there is void, emptiness, the great abyss of nihilism that swallows the scientist. Things must be one or the other. Yet they are both, and your consciousness teaches you the true nature of this transcendent unity. But you are led astray by perceptions, even as these very perceptions reflect that unimaginable transcendence. Look, my dear! See!
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When we left off last night, Archangel, we were missing a word, were we not?
Yes, of course, tell me, my darling.
Paradox. The ultimate essence of reality is paradoxical.
Quite so, and that is the very conundrum that stymies the average person, while it was your own early intuition of this fact that produced the eureka moment when you came upon Suzuki’s little book.
Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. “It seems that we die and that we do not die.” Exactly what I have felt since childhood. Naturally, the all-encompassing reality must be paradoxical; of course the dichotomies must not be mutually exclusive!
And yet child, you must understand, that is but one small step on the path.
I do, Guardian, and a giant step remains, that being the attachments we form which must break our hearts. How do we answer that?
To grasp fully the meaning of “the patient acceptance of the twofold egolessness.” We learn such phrases, yet their deeper meaning often fades. As form is configured in the sangsara, everything has its natural individuality. The brain holds this individuality together through the capacity of memory, causing us to believe that a each being is essentially static from birth, through life phases, aging and death. The ultimate reality is otherwise: all form comes forth, Tathagata, continually from the plenipotent void. In other words, it is “egolessness,” twofold referring to oneself and others, those to whom we are attached. We naturally grieve the loss of such individuals, but karma being inescapable, we must have patience in our grief, knowing that we also are coming forth continually, not being static but one with that transcendent, plenipotent void.
So, my Guardian, we are not lost in death.
No one dies, my precious, that is what Suzuki meant.
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I entreat you to bear in mind, my darling, that the Tao is not discoverable by science. Can you tell me why?
I believe it is because to observe anything, the observer must stand apart from it, and the scientific observer is himself the Tao, in no way separable.
Exactly, thank you, child. Modern physics is congruent with Tao, but is not the Buddha’s enlightenment. So when we say that all forms in the kaleidoscopic sangsara remain in the omnipotentiality of void we do not refer to something like a black hole where one might search and find them. Logically void has infinite potential, but its reality is zero. It assumes form in the sangsara only through the presence of one.
Like computer code!
Most suggestive, is it not, my precious? Yet the reality of form remains the timeless void. It is in recognition of this very oneness that you and I are justified in our intuition that it bears the character of our trinity.
Wisdom, strength, and compassion. But to the average person, my Guardian, this is pure balderdash.
So it seems, but consider the balderdash they nevertheless accept as gospel: that an incorporeal spirit is breathed into germ cells bringing them to life; that a sentient being is born and proceeds along a timeline, continually morphing the while, yet remaining the same spirit; that the spirit escapes the dead body and waits somewhere among other spirits; that the universe was created suddenly and expanded; that it comes to an end somewhere in outer space, or that it keeps going into infinite space; that logically reality must be all encompassing, but it includes illogic. You see?
I do, my Guardian. Many do not, sad to say.
Sad indeed.
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Why is it, Archangel, that people are so misled by their perceptions that we find them clinging without the least question to the very conditions that bring misery?
Your question, my darling, reveals the same error on your own part which it imputes to others. Of course you want them to see that things are not what they seem in this life, but please, child, neither is their clinging what it seems to you. Human behavior is quite paradoxical. If they are really clinging to the existence of time, for example, why do they act as though they have always existed and will never cease to exist? If they cling to an ego self, why would a deceased person vanish from their lives, even as they might seek to adopt fancies of the so called "after life"? We may fail to persuade them with words, but in fact all are naturally enlightened.
I see your point, Guardian and must agree. Still I wish they had the advantage, not only the unconscious intuition, of that enlightenment.
Aha! the actual experience, the sound of one hand clapping, a thing as precious as yourself! That is what Buddha referred to as the "turnabout of consciousness," training the mind inward to discover ultimate reality was there all along, no need to search.
Not easy though, my Guardian.
Recall the Rinzai, the Sudden School.
I do: enlightenment before dinnertime, or hara kiri! That separated the sheep from the goats.
The sure path to instant enlightenment, but not our way, my precious. A doctor came time and again to the Soto master for guidance to becoming enlightened. The master only repeated, "Go home and take care of your patients." Finally the doctor realised...
He was already enlightened!
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Last week, Archangel, you spoke of the wisdom, love, and strength we harbor within ourselves as being the Singular Identity itself.
Indeed, my darling. Please continue.
I fear we do not often feel wise, strong, or loving, let alone all three at once.
Ha, ha, ha…….! You are droll this evening, child. I take your point though. In fact there are people so distorted by karmic forces that their only discernible trait is the darkest ignorance. Those are to be pitied. For others, we must encourage meditation.
How is that going to help, Guardian?
The wisdom, love, and strength we reference is not at all what is found in the karmic realm. In meditation, observing mind and body, we find rather the wisdom of the lungs to breathe, of the heart to pump, of the eye to see; the strength of the brain to hold jealously to its distractions, of the spine to hold the head up and the back straight. Then it is with loving gratitude that we feel the blessing of sunlight and hear the sweet sounds of nature.
But those distractions, Guardian, may not be so pleasant: discomfort, illness, terrible conditions.
My precious, you know that over the longterm observing those essentials of your existence and noting that they neither require nor submit to your conscious control, you may realize that those opposite conditions you enumerate are likewise in perpetual change, that all the sangsara is but the refraction of that transcendent void, the potentiality of Tathagata - an emptiness that is full. Nothing is stronger or wiser, dear child.
What’s not to love?
Ha, ha, ha, ha…………..!
Ha, ha, ha, ha……………!
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My darling, each one is the one, that is what must be appreciated. Each unique individual manifestation - persons, leaves of a tree, sands of the Ganges - is itself the one, which upon the dawn of consciousness becomes conscious of itself. Do you understand?
I do indeed, Archangel, but surely it seems that people want to worship something.
You have hit upon a deep vein, child, in your typically ingenuous manner; and how can they worship God if the are themselves God?
Heresy of a fatal kind!
Exactly, and it is not a true realization. All the ancient expressions of deity are rooted in the spiritual sense of oneness, and we must suspect that prohibitions against uttering its name speak to this root. We say “oneness, Buddha, universal mind.” This oneness we sense defies perception, defies logic and Newton.
Like the quanta.
Yes, though science is begrudgingly catching up to Buddha. Oneness is not eternal, it is timeless; it is not infinite, but unbounded, incalculable, the Emptiness out of which all perception takes Form. No thing, therefore, is apart from it.
And so cannot be an object of worship.
That’s the irony, isn’t it, my precious? The inevitable loneliness of being separate from God.
When you really truly are not. I do believe that mystics of every religion have had this realization of oneness, my Guardian.
I suspect you are correct.
But this barrier of clinging to individual identity…
That is the point where our arguments fail: in stopping prematurely. Each one is the one. The God you sense within, the self you know intimately, is the one. In the love, the strength, the wisdom you harbor in yourself, there lies the Singular Identity itself! Do not look for it afar. It is under your nose.
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In light of the constant struggles of life, Archangel, why is it so difficult for people to accept egolessness?
There is the survival instinct, my darling, and oddly as you imply a native optimism. Indeed, is life really a constant struggle, or might that not be paradise we see in the distance?
Surely paradise is wishful, a mirage, since every such ending phase of life will bring its own inevitable struggles: infancy, childhood, adulthood, aging.
Yes, and surviving all that the bardo of dying. You are correct, child, of course. But then from birth, living creatures rely exclusively on the reality of perceptions; the leap to deeper layers generally requires either strong intuition or extreme desperation.
A need to escape the struggles.
Exactly, and today the ancient beliefs are harder to accept, though desperate people may persuade themselves.
And science offers only nihilism.
Quite so, the simple fact that our bodies decompose, and there is nothing left of us.
As we often observe, Guardian, it is the quantum level that puts the lie to it.
Delicious, isn’t it, my precious? And it affirms the essence of Buddha’s dharma. Material reality is not even material; it is transcendent unity, constantly reconfiguring. Individuals cling to their individuality unable to imagine being otherwise and blind to the deeper truth that the root essence of that temporal being is one with transcendent unity.
It is too paradoxical for our logical brains, my Guardian, but as to the struggles?
Recall, dear child, these arise in the dual realm like all perceptible phenomena, the product of consciousness itself, which refracts the omnipotent unity into myriad forms; and please reflect that the nature of that unity is witnessed in the glorious transcendence of those forms.
I also intuit our trinity, Archangel.
Ah, yes of course! Wisdom, love, and strength.
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Such is the common lot, my darling, though not a universal conditio. Nonetheless are the phases of life distinct, and a person who lives to old age is blessed with more time to consider the matter.
But does that consideration really behoove, Guardian?
When you read in Zen Mind Suzuki's observation that it seems we die and that we do not die, child, you were just 39 years old.
And I was hooked, yes, it is important to search for the real and true, especially concerning death, since with age one naturally sees more of it.
Indeed, it draws closer, my precious. But what did Suzuki mean?
I think of cancer cases that in these times can drag on for years. In fact even if a tumor returns after treatment, it is not the tumor itself that kills. It simply interferes with vital functions until life is no longer sustained.
We have used the metaphor of the asymptote, where a body gets closer and closer, never reaching; and when the time does come, dear one, what then?
A very different person dies, my Guardian.
There you have the deepest aspect of the whole question. Realize the shifting self nature and you see the intuitive root of a common indifference to mortality. People see the distinct phases of life; those are big changes. But they intuit the smaller changes of self.
So a different person will die, just as I am not the child I was.
Suzuki could not have said it better.
Yet he did!
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It seems, Archangel, that we are forced to live in this dual realm as though we are isolated individuals, as though that individuality is a continuous thread from birth to death. To realize the ultimate reality that we come forth in an ever so slightly different version constantly, forever changing, is a high barrier.
Ah, yes, my darling, and consider poor Julian Barbour, whose concept of "Platonia" surely may only be grasped by another theoretical mathematician! Dr. Damasio was more persuasive with his description of cognitive impairment due to stroke or brain damage. Such symptoms, or the rare case of global amnesia, are evidence that one's identity depends on causes and conditions, set up in your brain from one's first moment of consciousness.
And it can be lost.
Exactly, and in such case who are you then? Have you disappeared, evaporated? No, you have reverted to a self before you acquired all the trappings of identity. Buddha taught that we should become "like a babe," in other words, a completely natural state, spontaneous, receptive.
But how, Guardian, how do we overcome such rigid habits of thought?
Your first step in meditation, child, is to follow your breath. Indeed your life depends on it; and acknowledging that, realize that you are born with each breath you draw, and you die with each exhalation. As you cultivate this realization, all the complexities concomitant with your worldly affairs fall into their rightful insignificance.
And all muscles relax, I know. Thank you, my Guardian. To think neither Barbour nor Damasio mentioned Buddha - even in a footnote!
Alas. my precious, for that we must go back to Fritjof Capra's Tao of Physics.
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Maybe I'm just getting old, Archangel, but lately I find it especially galling when a person holds forth on modern physics - the amazing mind of Einstein, for example - as though mankind at last has unravelled all the mysteries of the universe - subject closed.
Well, my darling, you have gained in wisdom at least, having realized the futility of attempting to disabuse them. This shallow thinking though is the common lot, and nearly universal in the West.
A sorry state, Guardian, even plaguing the greatest minds of science.
Recall in the first pages of Conjuring, my test concerning the abyss of nihilism.
I remember of course. You bade me, "Jump! I will catch you." I passed the test.
Indeed you did, child. You did not jump, realizing you were already on the other side. The point is that the scientific pursuit of the nature of things - of matter, of the universe - leads to the void, like reaching an abyss and no way to cross. Science is hemmed in by logic, hogtied by Newton, not seeing that the ultimate nature of reality must be paradoxical; it must encompass endless forms, all dichotomies, their poles defying the logic of mutual exclusivity.
So I could naturally be on both sides of the precipice at once.
Quite so, and you see how quantum physics introduced this matter of paradox as not a thing to mock. It is real. Form is emptiness, yes, but emptiness is form.
Strange though, my Guardian, that in seeking knowledge, the Western scientist is neither seen nor heard searching for the deepest levels of thought of which mankind has been capable.
I know, my precious, I know you mean Buddhism. As I observed, it is shallow thinking. Buddhism is way too deep even for its practitioners. Only a small number of masters penetrate its truth, though some few others find the right path - like yourself.
You honor me, Guardian, but surely not.
No, no, you are on the true path. Buddha observed his own mind. There again science goes wrong to believe in studying reality by looking in from the outside. There is no outside!
Brilliant, Archangel!
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Recent discussions in Dokusan, Archangel, have centered on the clarification of oneness by elucidating the true intuitions of self nature as singularity and the paradox of individuation in the dual realm.
An apt summary, my darling, I daresay. Please continue.
Even with this understanding, even the realization of enlightenment, however, why do we still feel such strong attachment to loved ones, such sadness at the mere thought of loss?
Your questions, as I have told you many times, are often far deeper than they at first appear. You amaze me, child.
High praise, Guardian, thank you.
Now as to the point, there is the matter of identity. Recall your sensation upon reflecting on a wild bird perched near you on a twig, the notion that you had experience yourself of gripping a branch with bony claws. You identified with the bird. Remember also our observation that a child knows instinctively the difference between a living creature and a plush toy imitation, however realistic. How?
The eyes, windows on the soul.
Just so do you identify with the conscious experience of all people, but more strongly with those closest and most familiar to you. Moreover, my precious you do not escape in the karma of your configuration the waves of sadness in your brain, though they may be subjected to the discipline of perspective.
And humility.
Goodness yes, dear child. How many have realized this intuition of singularity within and foolishly pronounced themselves to be God, only to be burned as heretics, or have understood it as a divine calling to conquer the world and lapsed into megalomania. Yes, as Buddha showed, you have capacity with this human consciousness for wisdom and strength, but above all, compassion in their application here in the sangsara - even for your own natural emotions.
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A few weeks ago, Archangel, our friend Grey posted here concerning how often it seems necessary to belabor the obvious when it comes to dealing with irrationality in the human species.
Yes, my darling, and Grey is always most cogent in his posts.
You and I have been discussing those irrational intuitions which are in fact true, and it occurs to me that a considerable obstacle to acceptance of ultimate reality - the dharma - is precisely the definition of “obvious.”
I understand, child, and by what means do we define the term?
The sense minds, perception.
Exactly. It is obvious that a brick wall is solid because my eye and hand perceive it thus, though science has never found that hard particle at the core of solid. In pursuit of it instead, science found quanta, which perniciously were proven to defy Newtonian laws: effect preceding cause; a particle detected in two distant locations simultaneously, or behaving now as a particle then as a wave. Such illogical realities will be unacceptable to the average person because they are not obvious. Likewise, the truth of dharma: claim that self is not individual but coming forth like those kaleidoscopic images, or that you feel self to be one with all reality. These things are not obvious!
Of course I am an individual, can’t you see? I am separate from all others; is that not obvious?
That’s the idea, my precious, but as much as each individual person denies it, he still feels the pull of seemingly irrational intuition. Further obscuring their truth, these intuitions are not impersonal science…
Indeed, my Guardian, they are the very heart of that same denying person, the heart he then claims as his individual possession!
Bravo, my darling disciple!
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We often discuss, Archangel, how language is a difficult barrier to understanding the deepest truths.
Indeed, my darling. Please continue.
I see two words in particular that we constantly stumble over: they are “void” and “potentiality.” Can we do better expressing these precepts?
An excellent question, child. As to the latter, I have modified it as transcendent potentiality, or used instead either omnipotentiality or plenipotent, neither of which is verified by the dictionary. The words you refer to are used to describe the Womb of Tathagata, the one source of infinite creation.
But “void” suggests only emptiness, the void of outer space.
I don’t care for that reference either, my precious. But let me cite a modern comparison with computer code. Using only 1 and 0 in endlessly variable array, the computer creates myriad forms, and these two figures derive solely from immaterial electrical impulse, which is on or off. Just so in the dual realm of your perception myriad forms appear from the incorporeal elements of form and emptiness.
So void is not zero?
Correct, just why we should use a different word.
What is it then, Guardian?
Potentiality - in ancient China it was called Tao. We are deceived though into thinking it is substance, that hard particle pursued in vain. Consider, my dearest disciple, if you truly grasp transcendence, beyond even infinity, the creation of myriad forms could not come of finite matter. Where then? Answer me.
The one self, all encompassing.
Bless you!
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You say, Archangel, that the one self is in reality the same self we intuit, while misconstruing it as an individual possession.
That is correct, my darling. Go on.
You have described further how in the dual realm of our perceptions the one self is manifest in manifold guises that shift and morph constantly like the images in a kaleidoscope.
You like my clever simile?
Very much, Guardian.
Please continue.
So our ignorance of the reality of self, and consequent clinging to temporal individuals, in essence define the human condition in all its pain and grief.
You summarize succinctly, my precious. Now in my effort to spur your realization, let me ask you how the Master responded when the dying man said where he was going non one could help him.
The Master replied, “Let me show you the path where there is no coming and going.”
There, dearest disciple, you have the other delusion.
Time, of course, my Guardian.
You cling to your individual self and others whom you love without realizing first that these beings are shifting images, and second the each of these images comes forth from the one void self and abides there ins its transcendent potentiality. Instead you imagine a path of time upon which you and your loved ones come and walk awhile before disappearing into oblivion. Reimagine that path.
I can see it still, but o one is walking there. It is totally peaceful.
That is reality, my precious, time is not. It is only because you are this reality that you intuit its truth, crazy as it seems!
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Perhaps the most important thing, Archangel, I have learned from your tutelage is to believe those very intuitions that seem the most illogical.
I am glad, my darling, and I must further note that you learned this through the proofs of observation. The underlying truth is exposed by the inconsistent behavior of persons who defy the illogic of intuition. They know the certainty of death, yet live as though they have and will always live. They experience the forces of entropy bringing changes as they age, yet claim they remain always the same.
Ah, that last, Guardian, I seize upon as the truth of one selfhood.
As you should, my precious, though it may be impossible to truly persuade ourselves. This self, this “you,” someone you know intimately, is in fact the one selfhood. But because you are conscious of it, enabled by your physical configuration, you misconstrue it as a thing you own. Now consistent with the brain’s symmetry, there are twins: a self and another who possesses it.
Descartes’ Error.
Exactly. Damasio’s second order mapping of the brain. The karmic realm, transcendent as it appears, is reflection of the one self. All that is karmic shifts and morphs like the image in a kaleidoscope, yet the one self remains timeless, void essence of all. You experience karma, but feel the same: self, who you truly are, not possessed of delusion. Do not be afraid, O child of Buddha nature!
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An added thought, Archangel, on the subject of oneness I hope you will elucidate for me.
By all means, my darling. What is it?
Is the enlightened man subject to the laws of causation?
A famous question, indeed, to which I am aware you do know the answer. But let us examine the question itself first. There is an obvious flaw. Do you see it?
Ah, yes, of course, the enlightened man has realized egolessness. Does the question then not answer itself, Guardian?
Exactly so, my clever disciple. Buddha himself said that there are no laws of causation. We believe ourselves subject to such terrifying conditions because we cling to a delusion of self. The blissful realization known as enlightenment illumines the transcendent oneness encompassing all. Thus we respond?
The enlightened man is one with the laws of causation. But, my Guardian, this is hard to translate relative to our experiences of life, is it not?
Terribly hard, my precious It requires that your realization be very deep to the point of unshakable faith in its absolute truth.
Absolute truth, Guardian? Every religion claims that.
Yes, dear child, but we speak of ultimate reality, suggesting that reality is multi-layered. We do not, moreover, reject other beliefs. Believe anything you like, but you will know when the transcendent singularity dawns within you that you glimpse the ultimate oneness, the deepest layer of reality. It must be so, all must be encompassed. This realization lies in your mind, intuited.
The Ground Luminosity?
You amaze me sometimes, child.
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Last week, Archangel, you expounded on the oneness of self, inseparable from the environment.
Quite so, my darling, thus the reason you are inexorably swept up in the karma, spared only to the extent of your realization.
Oneness, then, occurs to me to be such an important word, all encompassing. It explains everything, yet is understood by so few.
Indeed, child, it is often the subject of mockery.
Why is that, Guardian?
Your configuration, my precious, dictates the duality of your perceptions, and these you must trust implicitly in order to survive, though they are demonstrably inaccurate. Even those who accept the sameness of constituent matter, i.e. we are made of the same atoms, cannot get their minds around the much deeper truth of one self.
So people want to be distinct beings among other beings.
And that desperately, despite the clear evidence that the fetid bloom of human misery grows from that root. Another point of this delusion, I must add, can be laid at the altar of Newton. Just ask Brian Greene.
The Fabric of the Cosmos, of course, my Guardian.
Clever as his equations were at a certain level, Newton based them on untested assumptions. He took time and space for granted. What if he had not, dear child?
He might have been burned at the stake!
No, no, he would have joined Buddha under the Bodhi Tree, realizing the transcendent singular oneness, the Womb of Tathagata - before being burned at the stake.
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As we observe negative changes around us, Archangel, in human society, culture, politics, the environment, how can we avoid what would seem inevitable depression?
Dear me, my darling, are you trod under the thundering hooves of the Four Horsemen? No, no, even the Buddha was caught up in the tribal conflicts of his time. Of course, it helps to keep a realistic perspective, and when we are considering ultimate reality that perspective is indeed comprehensive.
Not to mention paradoxical. I take your point. Please continue, Guardian.
Also bear in mind that moods, whether euphoric or dysphoric, are brought on by brain chemistry, often triggered by circumstances but not necessarily. They may seem intense, like a storm surge, but like the tides they rise and fall.
Clinical depression excepted, surely.
Such a diagnosis calls for professional help certainly. Now there is yet another aspect of this question I beg you to keep before you, child.
Be assured, my Guardian, I bow to your wisdom.
Thank you, mat precious. Listen carefully then. The reason you cannot help but to be swept up in the karmic conditions in which you are immersed is that singular self we often come back to.
My god, I see what you mean!
Please don’t call me that, dear. Self is one, you are one with your surroundings, one and inseparable. One with the environment, natural and social. I believe you have recognized this innate sense, am I right?
Yes, and quite physically, when the seasons change. With every nuance of the air as the planet moves on its path around the sun, my skin feels it and my body feels subtly changed.
Now then, as you experience that in meditation, extrapolate beyond your body to all the myriad forms, sentient first then insentient as well, and let me know if you still hear the thundering hooves.
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In this karmic realm, Archangel, in the heat of battle so to speak, how do we ever have the presence of mind to hold to the dharma, summon its truth?
How do you get to Carnegie Hall, my darling?
Practice! Practice!
As in all things, child. One shortcut on that path I will commend to you, and that is this thought: Things are not as they appear.
True on so many levels, Guardian, thank you. Even in human interactions what is discussed often disguises undercurrents. Many people harbor repressed emotions and have no insight about them. They are not as they appear to be.
Correct, and that is your compass in dealing with them. On deeper layers - the dark moods, the chronic pains - these also are not as they may seem. One cannot know the true condition of the body, except that like the universe itself it is in flux; and deeper still, the idea that one is isolated and suffering interminably rests on twin delusions embedded in the brain and stubbornly enmeshed together.
Self and time!
Exactly. What we cling to as self is a transitory configuration subject to causes and conditions that obey the laws of entropy. In death, this body reveals its true essence of emptiness to the horror of the living.
The body is just an object…
But an object is not just an object. In reality, self is a singular, timeless unity, encompassing the myriad forms which reflect its transcendence. Therefore, my precious, avoid the time words: never, forever.
The pain will never go away?
A true statement, why?
Because never is now, of course! You come from brilliancy, my Guardian.
And you also, dear child.
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I must remind you, my darling, to be alert to the paradoxical nature of reality. The symmetry of human configuration often makes it hard to accept paradox, and language defies it.
I am not unmindful of it, Archangel, but as you observe the language trips me. Last week’s reference to Big Mind, for example.
Precisely what I reference. Suzuki refers to Big Mind, the mind of intrinsic awareness, intuition, while small mind is our busy consciousness, or “monkey mind,” swinging randomly. But a much older master, you will recall, told his monks, “This mind is not Buddha,” only to reverse himself the next day saying,”This mind is Buddha.”
The conundrum of paradox: how can it be buddha and at the same time not Buddha?
Yes, the very essence of Zen. Yet even logic demands that ultimate reality must encompass all things, all dichotomies.
Except the “horns of a hare,” Guardian.
Buddha’s famous example of the truly imaginary, yes. The point is that we perceive one reality through the prism of consciousness, which refracts it into myriad forms and then sorts it by perceived dichotomies. This process by no means leads to the ultimate truth about reality - just ask any nuclear physicist.
Or Julian Barbour for that matter.
No, no, you would be lost in Platonia! Least of all should we categorize mind, seeing one state as revered, or as Buddha, and another state as inferior - our mundane thoughts, not Buddha. Nothing stands outside of ultimate reality, not even Buddha!
I bow to your wisdom, my Guardian!
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Last week, Archangel, you reminded me of the plenipotent void of the universal mind, where all forms abide in the timeless state.
Yes, my darling, you asked whether the spirit of a lost loved one might be a guardian angel to the bereaved; and when you observed the potential disappointment of depending on a departed spirit, I concurred, since our trials in this dual realm are karmic.
Cause and effect, therefore, nothing magical, though it may seem so.
Exactly, and I often chide you for giving me too much credit in working small miracles.
Indeed, like stretching time when I need more.
Well, time does not exist anyway, child. Do you have further thoughts then on last week’s topic?
In this respect, where you spoke of the perspective of the singular, timeless self. I observe as I age and the travails of dysfunction and pains accumulate and intensify such physical ills corrupt the mind and the personality as well. I become a person I do not want to be - complaining, irritable, impatient. No sooner has the pain set in than irascibility is reflexive.
And to your horror you find you have not the capacity to discipline yourself.
Correct, and memory is corrupted as well, since the pain distracts, and the mind cannot focus. And yet…
And yet what, my precious? Pray continue.
I am aware of a larger mind observing the decline of the temporal self, Big Mind as Suzuki called it, which now looks back upon all the phases of that temporal life from the vista of the last.
That mind is the singular, timeless self, one with all. Realize that self, abide in the one true nature, and you will conquer irascibility.
The moon face of Buddha.
That’s the idea.
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If I may be so bold, Archangel, may I ask you a rather personal question?
Ha, ha, ha……….! What did I say to you, my darling, when you told me you had every confidence in me and none in yourself?
You said they are the same, we are the same. But my question, Guardian.
What is it, child?
What is a guardian angel?
True to form, your question is more serious than at first it would appear. There are truly many conceptions of a guardian angel. A theist believes that angels are God’s courtiers, and a guardian would be the one assigned to aid an individual in a time of crisis.
Like Clarence in the movie.
Exactly, and wasn’t that a delightful and instructive fancy. People who are not so superstitious apply the idea of guardian angel to a person who comes to the rescue in some heroic manner. But what, pray tell, brings this up, my precious?
My late mother, who was a religious person, assured me before she died that she would continue to watch over me from heaven. And our friend Grey, whose older brother died last year, tells me that in childhood his brother was his guardian angel, and that even in old age their closeness was balm to him.
I see. You want to know if a person’s spirit, once free of this mortal coil, may return to guard loved ones. You and I must see this from the perspective of the singular timeless self that is the universal mind, to which I am your conduit. All potentiality abides in timelessness, and all sentient life has that intrinsic awareness, which is in fact that same conduit; human consciousness has the advantage of intuition, whether or not it is attended. When an individual is sorely tried, he will turn inward to his own beliefs, pray to God, yearn for intervention, and his guardian angel may indeed be the comforting memory of a lost loved one. It is the one self, he is the one self.
There is a danger of disappointment, Guardian.
Oh, yes. Our trials in the dual realm are simply karmic, but rely on your intuitions - and trust me!
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Now, Archangel, as to the that pejorative so popular in criticizing Buddhist tracts, especially in our modern so-called social media.
Ah, yes, "word salad!" A synonym might be gobbledegook, in either case describing a confusion of words thrown together, but conveying no meaning. In years past, my darling, you too have had that impression from print media on the subject.
Guilty as charged, Guardian. I subscribed first to Shambala Sun, which seemed to favor Buddhism as self help. Then I moved on to the more serious Buddhadharma, having articles by masters, teachers, and lay practitioners. I was disappointed in this journal, forming the opinion that these writers were preaching to the choir.
In other words, to the uninitiated, just word salad. You must first consider, child, that Buddhism is the most esoteric of all human thought, religious or philosophical. Thus it is not evangelical as Western religions tend to be. Those books and articles by Buddhist masters do not aim at persuading.
Yet you, Archangel, have been very persuasive expounding on egolessness, timelessness, the ultimate nature of reality, which latter is paradoxical.
You are kind, my precious. If only people would discover our book, right? Truly the tenets of Buddhism are inexpressible in words, and their acceptance requires a wordless revelation. We try to explain these things in words, but those words are only fingers pointing.
A close parallel perhaps is modern physics, which most people also refuse to accept.
Quite so, and the way it parallels Buddha's teaching is instructive. The ideas that material reality is insubstantial energy, that neither time nor space are real, are counterintuitive. We are stuck with Newton, whom others observed was not looking deep enough into the nature of reality when his very useful rules took time and space for granted. But science stops at the abyss of nihilism. Buddha came to these truths about reality under the bodhi tree, knowing that he himself was in essence that truth.
And wisdom, compassion, strength?
These flow naturally when the mind is liberated from the grip of delusion.
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In meditation this morning, Archangel, my thoughts went to Dogen, who said, "I'm thinking of the one who is not thinking."
Most meaningful indeed, my darling. Tell me your thoughts.
I wondered about nature and evolution, how species adapt to a certain environment by the long intimate processes that are simply cause and effect. In other words, nature has intelligence without thinking.
Instructive, isn't it, child? Plants, having no brains, nevertheless use whatever sensory ability they have to make intelligent decisions. They are the ones "not thinking." Recall Dorje's translation: "intrinsic awareness." Exactly what Dogen was thinking. Your mind harbors that capacity, but clouded by thought like an eye covered by cataract.
Yet humans are largely unable to accept the agency of nature as karmic, Guardian, especially in Western society.
Very true. In fact as science advanced over the centuries, Western philosophers were obliged to contort themselves drastically to prove the existence of the Divine hand behind it all.
Ah. Spinoza.
Exactly, the poor fellow, so close to Eastern thought, where an ancient Taoist tradition saw through to ultimate reality.
How do we see through, my Guardian?
Continue sitting with Dogen, and do not let go of that one who is not thinking. This mind is not empty-headed, not an idiot. It is hour natural mind, your true self. Do you see, dear one?
With your eyes alone, my Guardian! Bu our critics will cry, "word salad!" a favorite pejorative.
And not without some validity. We will take that up next time.
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If I may pick up where we left off, Archangel, what intuitions aid us in realizing the bliss of oneness?
First, my darling, the intuition of a personal selfhood contradicts an abstract and impersonal concept of oneness. We must see the paradox that the singularity is personal; from its plenipotent void, it imbues all the myriad forms with one selfhood. Secondly - and here, child, is the hardest nut to crack - the intuition of timelessness, illogical by all Newtonian rules, yet now at last proven true, explodes your karmic fate.
You often use that phrase in this context, Guardian, and it is powerful, considerable meaning packed into four words.
That is the idea, my precious, and it is just here that you will bring up the work of Julian Barbour in this field.
The End of Time. Very difficult.
Indeed, because timelessness contradicts not only Newton but also one’s own hardwired perceptions. In reality, as the newsreel of karma rolls by, one’s form is changed in each frame. Further, and here comes the blissful part, when that reel has run out, and with Khayyam we perceive “no more to thee and me,” all the frames remain as in an archive, plenipotent. No one has been born, no one dies. Form comes forth from the womb of Tathagata. That is who you are!
You take my breath away, Guardian!
And replaced it with mine.
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That last remark, my darling, in dokusan last week was key to the discussion.
You mean if only people could realize the transcendence that is far above their wildest fantasies.
Precisely. The mental barrier, of which we spoke, to an acceptance of Buddhist precepts such as egolessness is just that incapacity you referenced. To the sentient being the pleasures of that sentience are nonpareil. He cannot bear the idea of their loss, yet consider their basis, child.
Dependence on causes and conditions for one, Guardian.
Good, what else?
Ah, duality to be sure!
Thank you. In particular the dichotomy of self and other. The experience e of pleasure is felt by a self apart from the source of pleasure and it is to that ideation of self that people cling desperately, chaining themselves unwittingly to the dual realm. What they perceive is created by duality, thus pleasure comes forth with pain of like degree. But the ultimate reality is far deeper. What if that self, intuited since the eyes first opened to the light, is not the separate, temporal thing of this realm, but instead one with the infinite, singular source of all? What if instead of enjoying the bird on the branch, you are the bird, and all other perceived things? What if the self is not a thing among things, but no thing?
Surely, Guardian, that realization would be worth sacrificing our dubious yearnings.
Yes, my precious, but attendant must be a true, conscious appreciation of the ultimate transcendence. In nature we encounter its grandeur, but only as reflection. Imagine then the vastness of the universe filled with stars and galaxies. Turn the other way and regard the filigree of trees branching against the sky, with veins of each leaf branching in like pattern…
Fractal geometry!
The only example ever needed, and all but a reflection of oneself. Truly consciousness is irrelevant.
And clinging will not answer.
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Since coming upon the teaching of Suzuki Roshi in Zen Mind decades ago, Archangel, I have often been eager to share my enthusiasm.
Indeed you have, my darling, even collaborating with our friend Grey on a book about it.
I am far less eager now though, having perceived an impregnable barrier in the human brain against the acceptance of ultimate reality, whether as discovered through science or by revelation. Can you explain why we always come upon this solid wall in any discussion of the subject?
Let my try. First of all, for any sentient being survival depends upon accurate perceptions. Tell him that the Earth is round, not flat as it appears, or that microbes he cannot see are causing sickness, not the devil, and such ideas will be a hard sell. But it is the terrible mystery of the corpse that presents the ultimate conundrum, especially when reduced to ashes.
We discussed that in Conjuring, Guardian.
Yes, we did, child. How can something pass from being animate to becoming inanimate? This question had to be dealt with in prehistorical times; it could not await the coming of science. Thus the several fantasies about a soul, which could leave the body and go somewhere else.
But the intuitions, Archangel, what about the intuitions?
That is where that impregnable wall becomes so frustrating. Because the average person intuits truth unmindfully: he intuits a self that has always existed and always will; he intuits the oneness of body and mind; he intuits God as some feeling presence; and he intuits the stasis of time. Ultimately true, these intuitions govern his life even as he nominally rejects their validity, clinging to his favorite fantasies!
If only he could perceive, my Guardian, the reality that is transcendently superior!
My precious, he never even looks up at the sky.
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Last week, Archangel, we posted on the subject of Zen mind, the existence of which only asserts itself spontaneously in times of emergency. I am pondering what useful role it might play in end-of-life decisions.
I am aware of course, my darling, that two of your oldest and closest friends have been in cancer treatment since the pandemic struck, meaning they may soon face the very decisions you are pondering. Unfortunately they have never been open to the Buddhist path, nor are they strong in any spiritual practices. I also know you to be sufficiently observant to be schooled in their process. Nonetheless, allow me to expound on Zen mind in this context. The crux of it? As long as you are living and breathing, just live and breathe.
What about the Tibetan idea that suffering expiates bad karma and therefore should not be avoided?
As Tibet is a mountainous place, its people are given to superstition.
But if I am suffering horribly, do I bear it stoically? Is that possible, Guardian?
What did the master say when asked that question, child?
“Buddhas with sun faces, Buddhas with moon faces.”
Two sides of one coin. But in practice the mind must be clear of delusions concerning self and time. You must have realized that self is oneness, not a thing you possess as an isolate, and that birth and death are reconfigurations of void. Then, my precious, you must embrace that peace.
And go to sleep?
With the help of patient controlled anesthesia, if necessary.
Thank God!
Please don’t call me that.
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There are so many conceptions of Zen mind, Archangel, and surely most are misguided.
Very true, my darling. I believe the root problem lies with paradox. Our rational symmetrical brains reflexively reject the idea that ultimately reality must encompass all things, even those in contradiction or opposition. So what is Zen mind: is it the ordinary mind or some special state, the mind clear of thought perhaps?
All of the above, I would say.
The most relevant koan, my precious, is the one in which a monk who has been practicing and studying for many years without experiencing enlightenment comes to the master for help. Do you remember what the master says?
"Do no use your mind!"
Exactly. This effort to maintain a certain state of mind is defeating and beside the point. But there is a simple example of Zen mind, child, which a person will experience naturally, if briefly, when confronted suddenly with some calamity. It is that spontaneous mind that springs up miraculously to jump in and save a drowning person, or summon superhuman strength to fight off a predator. Spontaneity is key. It is not a conscious process of thought, but if practiced may have mysterious results.
The Zen of archery.
That's it, hitting the target without aiming, and with it one is said to become "a great warrior with a mighty sword!"
Wow!
You are articulate this evening, my love.
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Even realizing the oneness of all things, Archangel, and accepting the void nature of self, when a loved one dies it feels like a rock has fallen from the old stone wall of life.
Of course, my darling, I understand. To be dispassionate in the face of significant change is quite impossible. What did the master say when seen to weep over the death of a friend?
"If I did not weep upon such an occurrence, when would I weep?"
Indeed, sorrow is natural. An enlightened person is not one bound to some ideal standard, but rather most natural, simply without the self-consciousness.
But then, Guardian, as the years pass the losses accumulate, the stone wall deteriorates.
No, no, child, you should know better than that. Years do not pass, time does not move. Each and every perception changes perpetually, creating that illusion. And each and every one comes forth from the plenipotentiary void of universal mind while never leaving that all-encompassing Womb of Tathagata. What have I told you in that regard, my precious?
Timelessness explodes one's karmic fate.
Meditate on that, my dear, please. It is important, and elusive.
Your wisdom blesses me, my Guardian!
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You know my lifelong affinity for birds, Archangel. I seem to know what it is like to be a bird and wonder whether I may have been a bird in a former life.
Why a former life, my darling? You are a bird, in the oneness of all forms that come forth from the omnipotentiality of void. That is the nature of self, not some individual, transferable essence. But most people it appears do believe in reincarnation, regardless of their religion. It indicates their intuition of oneness combining with their insistence upon their own individual soul. There is but one soul, one self, and you need not cling to things, as they are yourself and inseparable from you. Do you understand, child?
I do, Guardian, and then there is the delusion of time, of temporal existence.
Indeed. Time and self are the twin delusions that torment people in this life, and that Buddha sought to free them from. But timelessness and oneness are very profound realities that seem belied at the surface of everyday life to any but the most thoughtful and open minded.
Very difficult, surely. Still when I see a bird outside the window perched on a branch, I have the feel of that branch in my bird grip. I just know, Guardian.
Yes, of course, my precious, you are most intuitive - and empathic.
Last week, Archangel, you spoke of the gift of human consciousness by which we are able to intuit ultimate reality and find liberation from the human condition by virtue of enlightenment.
I did, yes, my darling. Please continue.
You did not address other sentient life forms.
Well, child, our friend Grey did publish a whole book of our conversations, to which we are only appending with these blog posts. I daresay on the subject that in modern times there has been a welcome rise in compassion to the point that, despite animals lacking human consciousness, religious people have adopted the belief that their souls are eligible for heaven.
Congruent with Buddhism, don't you think?
Quite so. Now without writing another book on the matter, nor even an essay, let me remind you about natural enlightenment.
I am all attention, Guardian.
All things in the sangsara are by nature enlightened, both living and nonliving - animals are enlightened, mountains and rivers likewise - being aspects of transcendent singularity. Aside from the human species, sentient beings are configured knowing who and what they are. They have no need to clear their minds in meditation. Their sense of self is not layered, allowing the objective contemplation of it, as with human self- consciousness.
In that respect are they not in fact superior to us?
No, by no means, my precious. The human mind is a cultivar of this natural enlightenment, and with its careful nurturing yields an incomparable reward.
Tell me please, Guardian!
Ah, yes, that reward is not alone the realization of the true singular selfhood but also of the transcendent ultimate reality itself - inconceivable, inexpressible.
You take my breath away, Archangel!
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A person afflicted with protracted pain and discomfiture, Archangel, yearns to die and considers ending their own life. Elders sometimes commit murder-suicide so as not to face intolerable conditions. Are we not justified in such circumstance?
Suicide may be understandable, my darling, but I would not say justified.
Why not?
Well, there's Hamlet, child. The "undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveler returns." Yet as far as we know, death ends all consciousness of suffering, and religious people believe, on faith alone, that a soul is thus liberated from the body.
But Hamlet dithered.
Indeed, that undiscovered country "puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have then fly to others that we know not of." Nevertheless, it is not fear alone that we should consider. Human consciousness is a great gift as it is the only means by which sentient life is able to intuit the ultimate reality. Such realization may come upon you gradually, like getting wet in a fog, or in a flash of kensho that sets you upon the search for deepest truth. Death puts an end to that possibility.
Yes, Guardian, but does it not also liberate a person from suffering?
It puts an end to any consciousness of suffering, but nothing is liberated. Death only continues the reconfiguration that has been perpetual since beginningless time. True liberation is the realization that nothing is confined. Soul is body, which as to its materiality we know to be void. Void nature cannot be confined. It is in the embrace of this transcendent void nature as singular identity that a joyous, freedom will descend upon you, my precious.
Even in suffering?
Even so, dear child, since you are assured of its ending by the very truth of that perpetual reconfiguration.
Brilliant, my beloved Guardian!
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How do we counter the impression of most western people, Archangel, that the ideas of Buddhism are equivalent to the cold nihilism of modern science?
An excellent question, my darling. In response we first must understand that without experiencing the practice of meditation, there can be no insight with regard to the true nature of mind. One has to deliberately still the incessant distractions of life to realize that, empty of such preoccupations, the clear mind is there. It does not need to think nor even to be conscious; it is clear and pure. Then seeing what the self is not, one must slowly come to recognize that it must be just that same feeling we each have had since consciousness awoke, “Yes! I am self.”
Surely, but when Buddhism, separating that feeling from common perceptions, claims for it a oneness withal, and a void nature, albeit singular and transcendent, it takes on a flavor of quantum cosmology - in a word nihilism.
You are putting your finger most accurately on the stumbling blocks, my precious. Yet here again we return to our cushions and benches for the true bliss of kensho, since the ultimate reality is paradoxical. Yes, I am a separate person, and at the same time one with the transcendent cosmos. Not only that, the deep inner nature of the self I know is likewise that of the singular oneness. What have I taught you of that nature, child?
Ah! It is wise, strong, and compassionate, and it has been modeled for us by the saints of every religion.
Finally, the western mind truly and willfully fails to see the distinct advantage of ultimate void reality over its own enormous entanglement in the web of the sangsara. Isolated in that web, the person dangles perpetually in fear and suffering, struggling in vain against insuperable forces, and ending inevitably in oblivion. Such is the recipe for despair. Imbibing the transcendence of nature while knowing it reflects the true reality of one’s own self, singular and void?
Nirvana!
I cannot recall, Archangel, where I first came across that Chinese saying about the crab thrown into the boiling water, but it seems to contradict the idea that mind and body are one.
That bit of wisdom warns us to learn how to leave the body before its four elements separate, or risk being that crab. Possibly it predates Buddhism in China, but it is indeed puzzling.
Puzzling, yes, but in keeping with our reactions whenever visited with suffering. Then we very much would like to leave the body, and in the end many believe that the mind or soul does just that. But there remains the vexed question of how do we deal with suffering.
Quite right, my darling, quite right, and we might use that terrible warning of the crab boiled alive. Think first of the layers observed in the mind: your configuration provides the capacity of the sense minds - eyes to see, ears to hear - even the sense of self; that capacity brings the awareness of things - sound, sight, taste, smell; added on is your consciousness of being aware. Were that consciousness to be suspended, you would still have intrinsic awareness, but no conscious thought about it. You would be one with the experience, no longer an external observer. It would be as though...
... you had left your body!
So the saying really enjoins you to sit on your cushion or bench most earnestly, observing the mind, "thinking of the one who is not thinking."
Dogen Zenji.
Temple of Zen!
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In meditation this morning, Archangel, I was very distracted by vexing personal matters.
Even distraction can be instructive, my darling. What did you observe?
I thought back to other periods, with totally other people and vexations, and observed how they have passed beyond the capacity to distract me. Indeed some of those people are dead and gone.
Please continue, child.
Well, it underscores the temporal nature of one's preoccupations, which in the moment may appear so ferocious.
Ah, yes, the Wrathful Deities! But surely, my precious, you likewise observe the temporal nature of self.
Especially with accumulating age, Guardian.
We may say age, my dear, but in the timeless state what we described is only changing, fluctuating perceptions. Nothing accumulates.
A kaleidoscope!
Something like that, yes, child, and what is always in the background is the ultimate peace of reality. Train your clear mind on that!
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A good deal of our struggles in life, Archangel, are due to physical configuration, are they not?
Quite so, my darling, in particular the survival instinct, representing the root of fear and the desperate need to control. These are very strong barriers to enlightenment. To free one's mind from the clinging illusion of an isolate self and the misapprehension of safety in leaning on others is not viewed as freedom at all; it is terrorizing.
Indeed. This has been made so clear now in victims of the new coronavirus, lying in hospital, unable to breathe and surrounded only by strangers.
And such events, child, expose the ultimate reality, guiding the wise to look deeper. Do you understand?
Yes, Guardian, but it is so hard to describe that ultimate reality, let alone to internalize it!
We keep trying, my precious, in our compassion. The truth of self is One. All that you perceive as dual, including that imaginary self, is transcendence refracted through consciousness. Evidence, if one observes closely, is the magnificence and the scope of it all. Think of the sands of the Ganges, the leaves of a tree, the stars in the sky, the cells of your body. All are one, coming forth in omnipotentiality. Is it so hard to embrace that truth as Self, or to see the obvious fact that the false self and others, to whom we cling desperately, disappear - phantoms only?
No, not in meditation.
Do not be afraid then, child of Buddha nature!
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I continue to search my mind, Archangel, for the place that hears; and in so doing I find it is the same place that sees and feels, tastes and smells.
Of course, the sense minds will coalesce, my dear one, at deeper levels. You will see the sound of the bluebird, and hear his blueness.
Another thing, Spirit Guide: the brain is often likened to a slate, blank at birth, upon which one's life is then recorded. But we speak of the mind as a mirror. What is signified?
Again you merely distinguish levels. The ordinary functions of the brain rest in a framework of short and long term memory. That is your slate. Its deeper functions are referred to as mind, within which are more levels - knowledge, intellect, personality. At the deepest level it may be compared with a mirror, upon which all karmic phenomena are but reflections. The mirror remains untainted by these reflections; remove them, polish the mirror, and there is your consciousness of Universal Mind.
That the mind is a function of the brain does not diminish it. Mind and brain are one; they are not separate nor are they individual, despite the way they are manifested and thus perceived in the karmic realm. Do you understand, my precious?
You make all things so clear for me, my Guardian, and I never lack for questions.
It is a long Path, dear child, but you are well on your way.
I remain a bit confused, Archangel, about the levels of consciousness as they relate to the self. I see three levels: consciousness, intrinsic awareness, and consciousness of intrinsic awareness. But which one are we to realize as the self?
Conscious of being conscious - I remember, Guardian.
That is the unique gift of human consciousness - the layer of self-consciousness - which is the key to the lockbox of self. Do you understand, child?
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